Sotoz Shizzle

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	Sotoz Shizzle
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So Sick Of The stars are everywhere, so why can I only see them at night. The world wants peace, so why do I want to fight? People die of hunger, while others own a city mile. Anything pure now isolated, raped, and vile. Bullshit bogged it down, Took you kicking and screaming, never again to be found. Some summer belongs in May, But that a lie, only decay. Love is supposed to be fee. So why did you charge for loving me? Why can't I feel just fine? Nothing I own is mine. Stolen like a sunrise, Now owned by suits and ties. So fucking sick of this life, Ready to pull the trigger, or unholster the knife. Everyone preaches, but no one is right, The stars are everywhere, so why can I only see them at night?
	Soto This is my bud Rene Soto's sec. of the site! He's a sentimental and romantic kinda guy! The Eyes to ur left are because just like me for poetry, he feels tha u should fall for the writing ability and not the author's rugged-good looks! He's also a senior(hell yeah, 2004 baby, we finally made it)! the first 5 writings of his i have are actual poems and the other 2 are like short stories! Enjoy!
In the Darkest Of Pain In the darkest of pain, I sit alone and beaten, Streaks of the ocean on my dryland, Flowing down against my memories of the past. Bring back the hurt on its path. The moon dancing in the noon day sky, And an a desperate action never done. An eclipse swallong any stars that might shine, With disgrace dripping down from my eyes, Because tears became too tired of falling like rain. Tired of the ignorance in the heart, And of the longing that held the blade. Bring back history like it brings up itself, Throwing itself into my life while when im unable to recieve it. Unable to absorb the shock of my errors. My own foolishness proved its efficiency. My reasoning had reason to leave me. In the darkest of pain, I sit alone recovering and persevering. Holding onto to the love of no one but myself, My disgrace has run out, I have realised the the mistake of a wasted night. In the darkest of pain, I will rise again.
	Once Again So a maiden, now in her in prime, Found her love on the ground. In a beautiful pasture, under a blue sky. Not screaming from the pain of battle, But singing the sad song of regret. So he lay, not yet dead, Fighting death, but not for himself. He lay with few words left on his lips, And few time left on his life. So he spoke, with a dancing tongue, And quivering lips. But of the words he had kept, Poetry would have been made ashamed. For poetry would have been a dying man on a pasture, While his words would have been a single tear in a drought. But these words were already spoken, And only for a chosen audience. So then he finally fell to his last wound, With loving arms and a dying body. And he left the world with a smile, Knowing he had departed with someone that loved him. He had been slain by war like a dove, He had died as a warrior when he fought like a poet. So she wept over her loss with gleaming eyes, And she sang anguish in a voice she had never known. And the fair maiden didnt bear a smile on her worthy lips, But instead laid, she believed, a life that didnt deserve living. Many a time she thought to end her struggle, Like evil should wish upon itself. But didnt, as she knew her past wouldnt want it of her. But kept on weeping, and soon the stars died of sadness Looking down upon this maiden, broken in spirit. Not wanting to know a world where this was possible. So she she continued to weep, as if the sky was dead, And the ground its grave. She wept like the moon weeps the sun But never knowing if it will return. Weeping after innosense, gone now. Then one day, in between blurred vision and clinging sadness, The maiden saw a single star in the sky. And it too, looked like it was weeping. Weeping after the things that were stolen, And could never be returned. Death came like a thief and stole there happines And she saw this single star, this weeping star, In a beautiful pasture, under a blue sky. Then she finally rememered her loves words like stone. And in that day, the stars danced naked, Once again.
The Dove (v1.3) There was in a time now past, A boy who loved a girl, just as there has always been. He cared for her with all that he could, And tried so hard to just talk to her, But on her lips, his name did she never mention. Because this girl had already given away her heart, And in her eyes, it was worth it. This boy she loved, only cared for one thing, But this girl was naive, and kept on forgiving. So this boy, watched the calender flow, With doubles on his mind and solos on his time. Someday, he tells himself, that his love for this girl he will let go, But all know this to be false, even him. He speaks wishful lies, but never will that love die. For one day, he believes, this maiden of mine, which I hate to love, And pains to watch, will open her eyes and realize she is a dove. And this boy, whom she admires is a vulture. And is by no means or strech is worth of her. So he waited, and a good amount of time had passed, But one night, finally he decided to be swift. He recived news of that which he most feared, He heard the tale, and his fists locked like a warrior. For one night she denied him of what he came for, He became enraged, pinned her down, and became a thief. By now he was drunk, and she pleaded him not to, But to argue with him now was like arguing with a mirror. He forced her into the lumbering steel, They crashed, and her pain flew through the air. Her wings no longer free, darkened now like the moons mare. So his beauty lied still, cold in her sleep, And with tears on her heart. He was found not-guilty by everyone except the boy. His expensive lies had no sway to the burning truth in his fist. So then he sought out to fix matter with his own hand. And the matter was done, he was given six years. In a cage they held him, With nothing but the will to fight, and the hope for peace. So he went on the whole while, loving that which could never love him back. Struggling through every breath, always reminded of the fact that all he loved, was only there to be destroyed, and had already been so. Every night of his misery he thought of his one night with her, The night light whispered in the air, and they found each other in between the screams. He made his feelings manifest, And she had no objections to them becoming one. She told him to wait, and he did, like the moon follows the sun. Ever night he sat alone, he knew it wasnt fate. By doing nothing, he took plenty of action. With tommorows sunrise though, he shall finally be set free. Into the world of vultures and doves, in that order, shall he be thrown. So he awoke, and that morning felt no different than the last, Even though he knew it should. He gathered his things, but not what he had lost, and left. He stood outside the gates of his prison, Not knowing how to possibly live his life, He was lost like a good thought in the ignorant. So he sat down on a bench, and took sight of a dandelion in the grass, A weed, but much more, A rose to someone who has forgotten what they look like. He picked it up from the floor and studied it. Nothing had ever been more fascinating to him, Free but trapped to its roots, Alive, but not able to love. He freed it and killed it at the same time, Then he got up. He was still a man of youth, In his twilight, but with nothing to shine upon. He lifted himself from the bench and proceeded to rebuild Rome. And there, he spotted a dove across the way, He knew there were no vultures, and that made him content. And so they stood, both without words. One stood as if he just found out worlds could be rebuilt in moments, The other, who struggled to be there, nursing her body for the past six years, solely for this occasion. They spoke a thousand poems, and loved a thousand loves. And through eachother, each found something finally worth living for. Not just the battered dreams that died long ago, but a true hope for tommorow. They started to walk, carrying eachothers fallen yesterdays, And finally, together. They continued to walk, and she hit the curb and started to fall for the street. He was losing everything that moment, even his hope. But he made sure to quikly catch her, so no harm would come to her. And he did. She got to her feet, and his world restored. She had her eyes closed, and he took note. Then she opened them, And looked upon his grave. A suicide in his seventh night, while she was still in acoma, and still in the hospital. She had awoken the next day, just as the sun was setting. And had this same dream every night.
	Cherish You I sit alone, shivering in a solem field, Looking at the sky and the stars revealed. Hoping to have some insight into your distant dreams, And to know what is, from what it is that seems. But while in your complete reverence, I cant only but realize my seculsion and our severence. So here I stay, feeling stars dance above me, And keep hoping one day you and I shall be we. Even if but for a dying roses bloom, Your sweet fragerence on me would still loom. A night with you would hold no regrets, Stop my waiting and join me, come lets. We will make the stars bitter and lonely, And smile the smiles that belong to us only. We will dance in the gardens of the sun, And hold our night sacred with memories of our one. We will be happy in a lovers delight, Fighting against the sun and its bright. So come to me, when the moon stands high, And we shall never leave our summers July. So I beg, release a bruised love, And of your life, make me part of. So come into the arms that will cherish you, And that will always stand to be subdued.
In A Moments Strength The man arose from his slumber to an alarm, screams of fire flying from digital numbers. His slumber had been a peaceful one, and had been since his wife started to sleep in another bed. He no longer bother by her curses of the night. So he hurried to turn off the siren as it might awake his wife, who shared her dreams in the same room. He areose from his bed with yawns and prepared for the battle of his day. Exposed feet slid accross the floor like a swan accross dry land,. The man entered the bathroom to prepare for his day. Brushing and flosing his teeth and doing his ffair proplery so that all other man would think he was respectable, so that he may look like a respectable man. When he was done in his preparations, he went back to his room to put on his suit. The suit was an expensie one, and made him look well, but the man never liked the suit. His wife had chosen it. He walked down in armor to his kitchen were he prepared and ate his breakfast. He got up from his seat and grabbed his car keys and then left the house, leaving the house withought a single word left on his dry lips. He got inside his BMW and started to hear his morning greeting. He put the clutch in and reversed out of his driveway. He left for the train station and arrived shortely, it was a journey that couldnt be considered one, and he made it every morning. He parked his car and then boarded his train. He saw the normal faces that consisted the beggining of his day. He sat as his normal seat, number twenty-nine and laid his head to rest. As normal, all of the clusters of seats were takeen, and people would have tto sit next to strangers in a steel enclosure. Standing in shreds but never holding the needle. The man slowly rolled his eyes up onto the oblivous light on the train wall, it stated that this would be the second to last stop. He pulled his knees to clear the aile as he had done before. He knew all of the faces that boarded the train, and almost all of them he would see daily. As the birds rushed to go get to there nest, the man sat giving his surrounding no attention. Then the needle dropped, and all possible stands of famailarty unraveld. A brunette woman walkded down the aisles with slender legs and golden streaks flying throught her like a comet flying through the sky. Her bussiness suir wore her, and to say it the opposite would be an error. Her face was round and had the impressioin of confidence imprented in ti. Her eyes now lay wandering from east to west, but finally settled down south in the seat across from him. He had seen her long before she had even glanced in his direction, but now they laid inches of eachother, like a shore and an ocean. Her first words like a house out of a window. The man and women soon started to talk, and she the while never noticing his wedding ring. fFor as soon as he saw hwer, the swooped down like a vulture and stole what belonged to not only him. They continued to talk, with real smiles and real laughter. They also both sat with blushing eyes and restained tongues,afraid of the calices people always pervieve themselves with. Still they continued to chat away against idleness, with words that dripped with sincerity, and coming from one of the beloved. Each continued to think how such a morning like this broke there bondage to routine, and each hoped many more mornings the same. Suddenly, an intercom interupped there pleasure, announcing that there arrival would soon lay at there feet. The two nameless still sat still as all other around them bustled with anxieties, each not wanting to forget the face that belonged to the other side of the conversation, and for a very long time to both, justified riding the train. The train soon started to sputter in exhaustion as its brakes sang relief. All the while, the two didnt occupy a train,but the resided in the place that bears no coordinates nor bears any name. Soon though, they would have to separate into a world love is killed as often as it is found. The two walked out together, each hoping that there next meeting not be attended by strangers. They now stood outside of the train station, where the sun was only kind to them. The man pulled out a piece of paper, and the woman pulled out a thick pen. She took the paper and scribbled information he would not lose. She handed him the pen and paper and he gladly accepted them both, not daring to remind her of the pen that she forgot. She laid a kiss across his cheak like a ripple on the ocean. She departed across the streat where she would fight through the rest of her day. He, all the while standing at a lonely corner like a pice of coal, where five minutes earlier he would have considered himself a diamond. He reached inseide his pocket and revovered a slim piece of paper. It was folded, so he had to wait even longer to open his own pandoras box. he opned it with feverish fingertips, but all the while gentle as if he was disarming a bomb. He opened the note and read the words as they stated; "September 19, 2003." The man sat completelypuzzled but kept on reading, "Holiday Inn, Room 402. Mary." The last word seemed to crash through him like a mountain coming down on a child. Only now did he feel the regret he had failed to all those times in his sin. He could feel the apin ripping through him as if he was on a cutting board. His blood seemed to fall out of him as if he was upside-down. He could smell the liquid as if it was mixing with concrete. He belived this until he lifted his shamed hands and watched as a drop of blood fell from his hands. He watched it fall down to the ground and fight against gravity out of his body. He stood silent, unable to scream feeling his knees weaken under as he started his decline. A hole was left in his body, and now it bled feverishley. His eyelids started to close, slowly at first but then they started to shut faster and faster, like the curtain coming down from the curtain of a tradegy. He was unable to hear the footsetps clashing on the floor, as he was unable to hear teh sound of the explosion as the the pen had expanded through his body. He finally stopped the struggle, and willingly closed his eyes. He was ready to pay for his sins, he was ready to accept his punishment. He was glad to be free from his weakness, to be free of man he himself hated. He started to remeber what it was like to be happy, because for so long, all he could remeber was how to be weak.
	Blood And Tears In The Rain This is what it must have been like for Noah, except he saw it coming; he had the warning that we never had been blessed with. No matter the technology, we only knew until it hit. We only knew when we received word that all we loved was only something to mourn. The road in front of me seemed to curve around, like a shell of a snail, leading me to nowhere. This rain that poured down came to destroy. I didn’t know what it was coming down to destroy though, and that made me nervous. I had to slow myself down; I was starting to go over the speed limit. I had to slow my head down too, worrying about everything would get me in a crash. The rain come down upon me like that was its only delight. The wind seemed to guide it straight into my direction. I might as well have not used my wipers, for they were doing nothing to prevent the advancement. In blowing the rain, it seemed to show me a soft grin, like it knew something that I didn’t. After trying so hard not to, I finally did. I thought about my family and the storm I was going into. I could be running back into a grave, but at least he knew that he would be running into something. It had struck my small little town like a low blow and keep on kicking it all the way down. No doplar radar predicted this, and our preparation was the product of this. My mother, father, and brother, all could be dead for all I knew, and for that matter, I could be joining them. But this did not matter, for if it were to happen, at least we would all go together. All of us going together, crashing down on the same ship of desperation. The more I worried the more traffic seemed to slow, and the more it slowed, the more I worried. The people in those cars must not have their love stored in a small box that may have been devoured by a winded beast. This night meant nothing to them, it just a bad storm. I only wish that it meant the same for me, to only hope that someone might not get hurt, someone who I had never met or cared about. To not have to think that everything you’ve known could be destroyed. But it wasn’t, to say that would be lying to myself and as to why I was rushing back home. I had just barely gotten past the first light on the journey back to my house, when I almost hit a car because of my carelessness. He also must not hold anything precious in the wind, for if he did, he would not be so callous to the situation. A weapon of worries was not pushing against his head, only pushing harder if you tried to resist. The barrel hot from action, and its master merciless in its use. He must not have felt any of this, the thought of someone you love dying did not maintain a second in his brain. He wasn’t thinking of the people he had left to run. He wasn’t worried. I was now one light closer to the information I so craved. The storm was getting worse. The storm was getting a lot worse. The wind and rain seemed to combine to form a face that was ready to take a chunk of my life and spit it back at me all while laughing. I couldn’t see anything all, but this wasn’t going to stop me, I have to get home. I have to get home, that’s the only thing that matters. Lighting bolts screamed through the sky as if on a joyride. They were coming too sudden now. I thought of turning back, but how could I? If I did, I knew that I could never respect myself, no matter if my family had been perfectly fine. The bolts also seemed to be pointing me in the direction of my house, should I get lost, for some reason I knew that I could follow the lighting bolts leading me home. But the question was, what were they leading me back to my home for? I was about a quarter of the way there, and the wind still seemed to blow all around me. I was very worried but at the same time very cautious. I watched the road like it was leading me to something that I must see, careful to follow its directions and avoid its traps. That seemed like a lifetime ago. I finally pulled up to my house. Everything looked normal, and didn’t look like a storm could even possibly exist anywhere near. I parked the car crooked, as I could not take the time to park it correctly. I then thought about each person that could be or could not behind those doors. My brother, whom I had once shared a room with, was first on my head. He had taught me so many things in my life, and not even actions could tell him how I felt. I remember him playing catch with me every time I asked him. I remember him teaching me how to play video games when he had no obligation to. I remember his love so strong as to defend me against myself. I remember my father who would used to take me out to lunch when I was a child. It was always only us, and I would always learn something from my father those days. I would think he would yell at me to yell, but now I know he yelled because he cared. And lastly, I thought about my mother. I just knew that I never by any means deserved the love she gave me. To deserve that, you could never do, to deserve the love of your mother. You could never deserve that love. You could only try to repay it, by the smallest forms in which you could, that she might find justification in loving you. I ran out of my car like I had kerosene in my veins. Burning me toward the door, finding out the information of my fears. I needed the knowledge that was hidden behind that door. The knowledge that could put away the ignorance that haunted me. The knowledge that could change my life, the knowledge that could destroy me. I reached out my hand to touch the smooth doorknob, and then I opened the door. I had never noticed all the things about my house as I did in those twelve seconds. The house was just like I had seen it the countless times before. Nothing was destroyed or misplaced, nothing that could tell me that it was out of the ordinary. I was glad. I called out to everyone but I did not hear a reply. I called out again, but again I did not hear a reply. Then I finally opened my eyes. I had no idea where I was and why I was on the floor. I could positively remember opening the door and calling out to everyone. So why was I here? Why was I not at home? Why was I bleeding? At first I thought that the rain was starting to get heavy, but it wasn’t. It was my blood that slid down my face like silk falling from the sky. The rain would guide it in all directions. I couldn’t lift my neck. I couldn’t move anything. All I knew that I was no longer in my car, and that I was bleeding in more than one place. I could feel the rain feed of my blood like a vulture, as if celebrating its victory over an adversary that could never have won. I laughed as I realized that I wasn’t anywhere near my house. It was all a pathetic dream, but the possibility of his family being dead was not. Irony seemed to be raining too. I laughed even harder when I realized that I wasn’t even near my little town. I thought back to the premonition I had earlier that night. The one where I thought that someone I loved would die this night, and I knew that I loved myself. I was able to move my eyes just far enough to see that my car was upside down, and nothing else, the blood clogged my eyes like ignorance in the mind of a fool. My blood was so thick, that even with all the rain coming down, the red tint could not be washed away from the windshield. At least some part of me was still fighting. I wondered if someone was worrying for me like I was worrying for my family. I was wondering if someone loved me enough to care, because I was still wondering about them. But then I knew. I still didn’t know if my family was dead or if they were alive, I didn’t have that feeling telling me that they were alive and waiting for me. And that scared me more than the fact that I could now feel more blood on my body than rain. It was slithering around me taking its time, knowing it had no reason to hurry. I started to think of all the people knew and started to wonder if they would attend my funeral if I died. Would they take the time to mourn someone they hadn’t even loved in life? But I knew that I would attend theres if I could, because I actually loved them, and still did. They only loved me when it was convenient. I started to think of all my friends that I might be leaving and one in particular, and of the girl whom I had been graced to spend time with. The storm only got worse. I only wondered if the storm was just trying to finish the job it started. But for some reason, then the rain started to feel good on my damp body, and I once again remembered my premonition. Then, not water or blood, but tears started to rain.